Loving the Loveless Anyway

How do we love those who do not love others or themselves?
Not loving the self first will lead one to believe the world is against them, and from there, that person will have triggers of defensiveness, feelings of lack and not feeling good enough.
You know, I often ask myself how does love come to be at all?
Where does love actually come from.? Are we born with it?

My answers say:
Love begets love in the universal law of giving and receiving.
Domestication is your personal story. Coming from every moment that you have lived up til now. We learn to love and not love.
After that first smack on the butt and the loud cry of proclamation "I Am Alive!, most infants come here with a smile on their face.
The energy of your being evolved from Love through the nature of Universal Law. The cells developed you lovingly into the human body you arrived in.
Arriving in a world where you may have a chance of being raised in a family that gave and taught love through example. Nurtured, cared for, loved, being taking care of, guided and tended to. This process begins from the first day you were born. You begin to know who you really are by how you react to everyday situations. Your awareness shows you who you are by how loved you were.
If you are a pessimistic person you probably were not nurtured kindly into your adult experience. The natural consequences from this experience are feelings of unworthiness. We attract what we think about all day long. Many end up living lives unloved and insolated eventually. This is typical reactive behavour from how you were treated. To resolve this pattern after the facts, one needs to embrace and accept their story.
Love becomes real in the light of kindness in action, thought and deed. So, even though it feels and appears that love is not present, we the people, show up in their lives giving unconditional, non-judgement, care.
These that do not love themselves have come from this pattern of birth and then a life filled with no one valuing their rarity. They live amongst those that are victims of their childhoods. And for those of us that understand where their stories come from, we then can show up with compassion and understanding.
This is when not taking the person who does not love personally, can be useful in showing them finally what love is. When we put aside our judgement and our triggers, we can react to the loveless with true love, unconditional love, kindness and care.
This truly is the only way, as they who do not know love, crave love behind the walls that they have built and the only way to shift things is to act out of love, instead of fear, as society has taught. With hope given from our own reactions, these that do not love back will eventually break down and allow the light of love to enter in.
If there is someone that you have been chosen to guide out of a loveless life, be patient, be non judgemental. Apply the second agreement and don't take their defensive, argumentative, loveless behavour personally. This way your authentic loving response can change a life for another. Everything is ever changing and the loveless can still be guided to remember who they really are. Rare beautiful human beings.

• January 19, 2018
• Charlene Hancock